Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
It strikes dead in the center, and the tiles explode.
We're still just going to head towards that safe door?
Yeah.
So there's some kind of puzzle here, I assume?
Do we care about it, or should we leave?
Yeah, we lower the bucket into the well, collect water, and put it in the basin.
You drop it down, and it fills up with water, and you pull it back up.
I hand it to Nularaaaa, and I'm like, go throw it in the basin.
Aye, aye, captain!
I run down the stairs, fill up the bucket again, run back up, pour it in, pull the lever.
You see a small opening form in the bottom of the basin, and the water disappears.
Guys, I think we're just like in a washroom. I don't even know what I'm doing.
Neat, we're all really proud of you, Nularaaaa.
But maybe we should check another door, because I don't know if I have the mental capacity for this room right now.
The door to the north, which was a large double door.
I say we go north.
You see that appears to be bowing into the room you are in.
But as you, one, two, three, open these doors, broken stone and boulders pour into this room.
So you guys take a rest after you were beaten by boulders.
The only passageway unsearched is the hallway to the west.
Well, it seemed like the easiest way to go, and we chose to ignore it.
So guess that's on us, guys.
So you guys decide to continue down the hallway.
And as you get nearing the end of the hallway, you step down onto a plate.
Well, nice knowing you guys.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
And with me today is Carla Johnson.
Oh, I was first.
Hi, I'm Carla.
I play Nularaaaa Moonbrook.
And Tom Laird.
Hey, I'm Tom and I play Flintfire Beard.
And of course, Amy More.
Of course.
I'm Amy More.
I repeated my name again.
And I play.
It's okay. Everybody else did too.
We all did too.
Oh, good. Yes.
And I play Thea Amastasia.
Welcome, everybody.
How is everybody doing?
I have hives.
So we're doing great then.
I don't have hives.
Me neither.
So on that scale, I'm great.
The hive free dream.
How are you, Russ?
We never ask you how you are.
You never ask me how I am.
How are you doing?
I'm doing pretty good, guys.
Pretty good.
Oh, wait.
Was that like a Joey from Friends?
Like a how you doing?
How you doing?
Doing all right.
Nothing helps a marriage along like playing D&D in a walk-in closet.
Yeah.
That's where we live now when we record.
This is our home now.
We can only record for two hours at a time because it gets real hot.
Yeah, it does.
Temperature wise.
Just remember, Tom and I are also on the line, please.
Yep.
Yeah, we're getting cleaned.
During the last couple of weeks, we've been running a contest where you could just get sent a sticker just for sharing an episode of our own
creation.
That was a terrible way to describe that.
But it doesn't really matter because the contest is over.
And I just want to say congratulations to everybody who got a sticker because it's in the mail.
That was weird.
Do you want to do that again?
No.
Okay.
Contest is over.
Doesn't matter.
I'm just congratulating them.
Okay.
Yay.
Good job, everybody.
Thank you.
Now let's play some D&D.
You were walking down a long, dark hallway that descended deep into the tomb that you're in.
Flint, being first, and having failed his perception check.
Hey, I got a 15, which is very respectable.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Activated a plate, which caused the circular mosaic pattern in the room behind you to open up.
And through the floor came a seven-foot diameter sphere made of hundreds of skeletal bodies
that tipped forward and began to roll down the hallway towards you.
I have an important question.
Okay.
Are these skeletons alive?
Are they moving like they're trapped in this ball?
Like...
No.
Okay.
It does not appear that they are alive.
Solid sound effect work, though.
That was nice.
That was good.
Yeah.
And that is what I pictured as well.
Like they're reaching for us?
Now that I know they're just dead bones, it's a little bit less scary.
Yeah, but I mean, it's spinning faster and faster, and it's like, with the flailing,
like they're grabbing.
I will have nightmares about this later.
Yeah.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
Dexterity saving throw.
That's terrifying.
Oh, Amy didn't do very well.
So that's a solid five, which I...
Oh, 17.
It's got to be good.
13.
I thought mine was bad, but not the worst.
Yeah.
Guys, I'm gonna get crushed.
You being first, obviously you had the better dexterity of your friends who followed behind
you, and you just didn't move quite fast enough, I think, getting out of the hallway.
I just didn't tell them that something was coming.
Yeah.
You heard the click, but then you just bolted.
So you...
Like, where are you going?
As this sphere comes crashing down the hallway, it...
Kickles me inappropriately.
Yeah.
Thea and Nulara get grabbed and pulled in by the skeletal hands into the sphere, which
continues to roll into the next room and smashes against the wall at the far end of
this room.
So, Flint, you're gonna take half damage on this first part.
I'm so glad I rolled all those hit dice.
That's not the right dice.
Too many.
Oh, no, that's the right amount of dice.
It's just the wrong dice.
No, I would have preferred the D6s.
Yeah.
Yeah, and maybe just like two of them?
So...
Try a D4 if you rolled one of those recently.
I haven't.
It's like a little pyramid.
Yeah.
So, on the initial hit of the boulder, Thea and Nulara are going to take 21
bludgeoning damage.
Flint, you will take half of that.
Oh, shit.
But the boulder kept rolling and it hits the far wall.
You, too, are caught in an explosion of bones and stone, and you take another amount
of damage.
Oh, my God.
I don't like this only because I cannot fight back against this.
Yeah, no, this just happens.
Like, this is not...
There is no revenge.
That is another 19 damage.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
Holy shit.
That one is a combination of bludgeoning and slashing damage.
Oh, my God.
And you are thrown into this next room trying to get a sense of what has just
happened.
Thea, are you still alive?
Yeah.
What?
I can't see you.
I'm, like, buried under all these, like, bone.
I'm, like, picking body parts off of myself.
Just, like...
Oh, my God.
I was thinking that ball was, like, a writhing mass of living skeletons, kind
of like the shambly creature that was made of earth that was going to get us
last time.
Last time in the sidescroller game.
Just...
Oh.
Yeah, I was going to say, yes.
No one here knows what you're talking about.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We'll put a link in the description.
Little doobly-doo.
Yep.
I was so relieved when I found out that was not the case.
And now I feel so dumb.
I was so innocent three minutes ago that I thought I wasn't going to get
eaten by a ball of living skeletons instead.
That innocence was smashed.
Smashed.
Yeah.
Anyway, are we, can we dig ourselves out of this bone?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You're, like, you're thrown into this room as you exploded against the far
wall.
And this room that you're in now, once you kind of get your bearings
again, you get the rich smell of incense and rich tapestries cover the
walls.
I swear to God I thought you were going to say mahogany.
Many leather-bound books.
Large double doors are seen to the north and a single door in the
southeast corner.
As you stand up and kind of brush yourself off there, you hear an
unfamiliar voice that speaks forth in a whisper and it fills the
room and says, humility proffered in the manner of mistral shelters
those opening the way to seeking knowledge.
What?
What you guys want to do?
Anyone have any thoughts about what they, like, everyone else heard
that, right?
Yeah.
Thea's worried, like, it's just in her head.
I heard it.
Because, you know, I hit my head pretty hard.
So I never know.
Yeah, I've definitely got, like, tinnitus now from just getting
bashed around in there.
Oh, God.
Humility.
Well, we're, like, the most humble people, so no problem.
I'm feeling pretty humiliated right now, actually.
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
Well, I don't know what that mystical voice meant.
Anybody?
No, I don't even know what some of those words mean.
I know.
And I'm fairly well-read and I'm at a loss here.
I don't...
I think we need to sing.
I was going to say, like, minstrel?
Like, song?
Mm.
Mistrel spelled M-Y-S-T-R-I-L.
Oh, like, a mystical thing.
Shit.
I've never encountered the word mistrel before.
You...
I've never encountered the word...
What was the word that started the P?
Proffered.
Proffered?
Proffered.
Like, pro-offered?
Proffered?
No.
Like, offered before.
Mm-hmm.
Like, before offer.
If we give someone a mystical song before something happens and be humiliated by it,
we will be safe to go through one of these doors.
You're not.
Thea pats herself on the back for solving the mystery.
And the humility is gone and another giant ball comes and crushes us.
Damn it.
The ceiling opens up and you're all dead.
Game over.
Bye.
Thea crisscross applesauces, brings out a pen and paper, and starts to, like, jot
down some good lyrics.
Like, sweet, deep lyrics.
You're not far off, so I'm going to give you some assistance.
All three of you make a religion check, which is intelligence.
Oh, see, it fails miserably.
How is that even possible?
Wait, Ross, how much time went by?
Am I still affected by my bonus intelligence roll?
Yeah, you're still good.
Short rest is a very short period of time.
So you've got 24 hours.
So you've probably been down there for, I'd say, max two hours.
It feels like a lifetime.
Whoa, 18.
I rolled a three.
Sorry.
Oh, me too.
Geez.
So you hear this whisper through the room of Flint, and it reminds you of a holy
gesture among adherents of the fallen goddess Mistral involving turning the head
downward and raising the hands as if holding a lamp.
Okay, guys, we have to not really bow our heads, but turn our heads downward and
hold our arms up as if we were holding a lamp.
Okay.
We do it.
I do that.
I also do that.
Just in the middle of the room?
Yeah.
Can I look around the room?
Are there any like symbols or a statue or anything we can be doing this toward?
Sure.
You see there are six rich tapestries that cover the walls.
Nothing that has any real meaning to any of you.
There are the large double doors, the hallway that you were thrown out of, and
then one smaller door to the southeast.
No writing or anything on those doors?
No.
Nothing engraved, nothing of that any sort.
Nothing to show us who Mistral might be?
Nope.
Maybe the middle of the room is the best place.
Oh, you want to go in front of a door?
I've been burdened before.
Me too.
I'm going to go up to the double door and do that.
Oh, God.
I go behind her.
It's because you're smart.
Well, I trust you, but I also have very few life points left.
No, Thea's very smart.
This is a good thing.
It did not work out well last time.
Thea's wary.
Sorry.
Nulara is going up and doing this.
Thea is doing the same.
Flint, what are you doing?
I will join them.
Nulara, after Flint explains this, just storms over to the double door and
does the gesture to the fallen goddess Mistral.
Thea and Flint follow behind and do the same.
And nothing happens.
Let's try the other door.
Do it in front of the other door.
Exactly.
You do the same.
And again, nothing happens.
In front of the tapestries.
Guys, maybe we have to do this in the midst of a moment of when we are needed to be showing humility.
Oh, this is like a tip for the future.
Not a magic key to open these doors.
Maybe not.
I mean, we haven't even tried the doors yet.
They could just open.
Hashtag pro tip.
Hashtag common sense.
So maybe we can...
Thea, that's why you're the smart one.
So Thea goes to...
Oh, shit.
Well, we're already standing at the small door.
So Thea reaches out and opens the small door.
Proactive door opening noise.
Yes, I'm very on with the sound effects tonight.
You open the small door in this room.
And it's just a small single door.
It opens into a short, dusty, about 10 foot long cobwebbed hallway.
And then there is another door cracked slightly ajar at the other end of this hallway.
I just yelled down, hello?
It seems undisturbed.
Yes.
We are following people, right?
Yeah.
Let's try the other door.
Don't you think?
Unless those...
We're trying to find that dude.
Unless those people found their end down the other door and they should have gone this way.
Well, you raise a very smart point.
Hopefully they tripped any traps.
Trip, trap, trip, trap.
And they're, you know, trapped in one of the traps.
Trip, trap, trip, trap.
God damn it.
Trip, trap, patty wrap.
Flint, what do you think?
It kind of made it sound, the voice that we heard, it kind of made it sound like we should do that if we're in trouble.
Did anyone else get that impression?
Yeah.
So you think we should go down the next door?
I don't know.
That was the question, Flint.
That was the only question.
Can we walk down this...
Flint, do you want to walk down this hallway or you want to try the double door?
Doesn't look like anybody's been this way.
Let's go double door.
Great.
Doubling down at the double door.
Let's do it.
With double door.
You back up.
We stride purposely towards the double door.
I grab the handle, pull it and jump back out of the way of the door.
I'm also like way out of the way.
I'm like middle of the room, but off to the side so I can jump out with more speed.
And I'm making the head down lantern holding pose.
Oh, good.
The double doors swing open, revealing as you jump back and then kind of creep forward as nothing comes out at you.
Revealing a throne on a massive dais resembling a floating cloud concealing a golden sun.
Seated on the throne is a 12 foot tall regal and well-muscled humanoid male with flowing white beard and purple toga.
As majestic as this room appears to you, you smell the distinct scent of dust and decay.
And at the foot of the throne is a pile of treasure, including a large sum of silver, silver necklaces and a vial that appears to contain a potion of some sort.
Even at a quick glance, you see that the pile contains hundreds of copper pieces and worthless bits of jewelry and pottery.
In this room, there's another set of double doors on the same wall you entered to your right and another single door to your left.
I like the sheer silence of what's happening.
We're just kind of like, what did we just walk in on?
Is the humanoid, like it smells of dust and decay, is a dead person or it is a living person?
It appears to you as a 12 foot tall regal and well-muscled humanoid male, but you smell in the room dust and decay.
It appears like the room is very well put together, but you still smell the same kind of dust and dankness that came from every other room that you've been in before.
Well, there's something fishy about this room.
Totally.
My initial thought is that guy shouldn't have sat down on that throne. I have a feeling like he can't get up.
I lift an arm and kind of like wave it to see if his hands move, if his eyes move.
You're standing in the doorway there. He doesn't appear to acknowledge you or make any movement towards you.
I look at, before we come through into the door, can I make a check for any sort of, I don't know, plates that might be stepped on, wires to be tripped?
You can make an investigation check.
I would like to make an investigation check.
Fuck my rules. That's a three plus a who the fuck cares.
Guys, I don't see any traps, any problems, but I'd really feel better if someone else took a look at this because I have some of the bone dust in my eyes from that horrific experience back there.
Yeah, just two heads away from one situation.
Good thinking.
15.
Well, I'm not going to beat a nat 20 on a second rule.
None of you can see any visible traps of any sort.
And it doesn't appear that there's any noticeable signs of any char marks or or dirt holes or anything like that.
They would normally set you off or plates in the ground.
I advance cautiously into the room.
I don't know if we should even go into this room, to be honest with you.
What? I have a feeling like he's Vram the White.
No, Vram the White is a dwarf.
Oh shit.
This is a big dude.
Sorry, I heard white beard and just got all sorts of excited.
Vram the White is a dwarf.
This is a 12 foot tall.
Shit.
A humanoid male of some sort.
Also, I don't know if Vram really rocks a toga or not.
It's purple.
It was purple.
It's his favorite color.
For someone named the White, I don't think purple is their favorite color.
Yes, it's part of the dragon cult and purple is their color.
He was, as you guys discussed in...
He's defected.
Well, no, he was last seen in purple robes at the settlement near Borskear Bridge.
I don't know.
It just seems to me like the room is a trap.
Like it looks pretty, but something's not right.
Okay.
Well, our options are go back and go down that other little hallway or go through one of the doors in this room.
There's also another option of the little thing that we found off to the side as well with the rope or whatever to get down in.
Like the dumbwaiter.
Right.
That we passed on last episode.
Also true.
Yes.
I think we can all agree we probably don't care about this treasure, so no trap there, yes?
Or maybe we just need to not touch anything.
Yeah.
It's like a cave of wonders situation.
All right.
Yeah.
Let's go in and let's just like not touch anything.
Okay.
You all cautiously begin to walk into the room.
And as you step a few feet in, the room is about 30 feet in front of you and 50 feet wide.
The throne sits directly in the center on the wall facing you.
At the back?
Yeah, at the back of the room.
As you step slowly into the room, you hear a voice come from the humanoid.
And it says in a soothing and magnificent voice,
Well, I mean, we got to lay a tribute down or we got to get out.
Those are their two options.
Yeah.
And we're all about being humble and like reverent in this temple.
So what do we got this good?
I just looked at my treasure list on my character sheet.
It's all disappeared.
But for sure, we like had some money or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
We had a bunch of gold and whatnot.
Yeah.
So I don't know the exchange rate on gold coins to tribute,
but Nularaaaa probably does.
So she puts, she opens her little satchel and puts some money down.
Based on what you kind of see already at his feet,
there are things of higher value and,
but there are a lot of things of very low value as well.
Thea goes forward and places a handful of precious stones that she has.
Yeah, I go up and put down some gold, gold coins.
I take off my deer skin hat and lay that at its feet as well.
As each of you step forward and lay your tribute,
he speaks forth to each of you and says, you shall pass.
Sweet.
And again, writes his position and just looks at the wall on the other side.
All right.
It's just an automaton, you guys.
Is he a robot?
So big door and double door.
Especially like a motion sensor light.
Totally.
A really cool one.
If you turn, if you were to turn around in the room, there are the double,
there's the double door that you walked in.
And then to your left, as you're looking at that wall,
there are another set of double doors and another single door on the west
side of the wall.
So as you were walking in, it would have been to your left.
Well, I think I liked the beast on the East beach least.
So I think we should go to.
Alright, Dr. Seuss.
Shout out to Dr. Seuss.
I think we should go through the double door.
I think we should go through the double doors.
It just feels like a natural flow, like a progression through.
Agreed.
The double doors seem more imposing and more like the ones this guy would be
guarding.
Sure.
Sweet.
Do we, is there anything like specifically different about this door,
or is it just another set of double doors?
Looks very much the same as the other set.
Not bulging outward.
There's zero bulging happening at these doors.
I walk to the door like reverently, like, you know,
like we have just been bestowed the right to enter.
And I take that seriously.
You open the double doors after having paid your tribute and you swing
them open and step into what looks to be an old library or study.
The walls are lined with empty dusty shelves and tables.
Any scrolls or tomes that were in here appear to be long gone.
And on the right side of the room,
there is a door cracked slightly ajar.
I make an investigation check.
Nine.
So it's just a dusty library.
It appears, yeah.
We move ahead cautiously and motion toward the door because I feel like
we shouldn't be talking in the library.
From my days as a scribe.
That's a good call.
You step in through the door,
disturbing the dust and cobwebs as you walk through.
And you feel a chill come over you when all of a sudden you see
materialized directly in front of you,
the gnarled angry face of a female ghost rushing towards you,
ranting and yelling saying, what are you doing here?
Come to steal my master scrolls. Have you?
You won't get far with them.
I drop my head and hold my arms up like I'm holding a lantern.
What are you doing?
I'm not that smart because the first thing I did was.
Did you roll for initiative?
I got scared.
I pulled out my sword as you pull out flame tongue.
She disappears and reappears behind you saying, who are you?
And why are you here?
We're looking for a door.
Come to rob us. Have you?
Nope.
Thea stands up because she feels stupid.
Stupid being down there.
No, Russ was just taking a sip of beer.
He's got more old lady ghost voice in him.
I stand up because obviously what Lynch and I are doing is not working.
And I say, we are here to find Varan the White.
I don't know Varan the White.
You have come to steal my master scrolls and his books.
How could we get back here if we were having any ill?
Also, what scrolls and books?
There's no scrolls and books.
That's true. This place is empty.
Somebody already stole them.
Dude, you did a bad job.
She disappears.
You're fired.
You have done terrible.
Go shade.
She disappears and reappears in front of each of the shelves one at a time.
And then on the final shelf, you see her slump to the floor and she begins to sob.
You broke her Carla.
And she breaks down in a fit of misery and says, you're right.
I did not do good.
I did not keep track of his things.
Oh, my God.
It's Moaning Myrtle.
Totally.
Harry Potter episode.
Very excited.
Why did you come here just to make fun of me?
Oh, no.
We have the worst motivation.
I know.
What scrolls were you protecting?
My master scrolls, Diderius, his passion for powerful divination magic.
He knew how to work the world and how to see things.
And everything was in his books.
But I was banished.
And then after he died, I came back to try and keep things around.
But I passed as well.
And people came and stole things.
I just don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Oh, my heart is breaking for this.
For this poor ghost.
Oh, they're there.
Classic.
I'm sure you were a loyal subject and worked very hard to protect your master's books and scrolls.
She disappears and reappears screaming in your face.
I did.
I did do that.
But then shrinks back and says, but I failed.
What if we could get some back for you?
You could.
You've been making promises weird.
I said, what if?
Do you want to make a religion check there, Flint?
Sure.
Fifteen.
You get the sense that if you were to bring something back to this room, that her sojourn here may be ended.
And she may be able to leave this area.
She says, you, if you could, you would bring some books back, something back?
If we can find the books, we'll gladly bring them back for you.
Oh, that would be, that would be, oh, that would be so, so nice.
I wouldn't, wouldn't be such a failure, as you pointed out.
But what, what, what are you, what are you doing here?
Is there, how can I help you?
Oh, it's a tit for tat situation.
I like this.
Have you seen a dwarf come by in purple robes?
Maybe how long ago was it?
Two, three days?
Are we, we're just a couple of days behind him, right?
We're four weeks behind him.
Oh, yeah, a couple of weeks.
Four, four weeks ago about?
Dwarf, no dwarf except the one right here.
Is he who you're looking for?
No.
Definitely not.
Thought this was an easy one.
No, it's, no dwarfs, just, just the serpents, the serpents live, live here too.
They, they are not nice.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's, what's serpents?
Oh, you haven't, you haven't seen any serpents?
Well, that's probably good.
But they're, they're not in, in, they moved in throughout the years.
They dwell in the innermost parts of Diderius' compLex, and they live here.
But I have not seen any dwarves.
How big are these serpents?
They're your size.
Some are bigger, some are smaller.
When you say serpent, do you mean that literally?
I think they call them the Yon-T. You know who the Yon-T are.
The Yon-T are a race of serpent beings who long ago in the history of the world were
very high up humanoids who had a lot of money and a lot of things, and they invested that
money in trying to better themselves, better their bodies, better their minds, better
their souls.
They found dark magic that, going through a process of transformation, transformed them
into more snake-like beings known as the Yon-T. So they're very magical, very powerful
beings.
In order to grow their masses, they capture people and they capture humanoids and they
transform them into more Yon-T.
But they live here.
Is there a shrine to Mistral or anything in this area?
Mistral.
Oh, you got through the door over there.
Did you do the thing with the hands and the head down?
Yeah, that's what I was doing when you showed up.
Did you recognize it?
Yeah, I did.
I saw that and I was like, why are you doing that in here?
That's the other room.
Yeah, if you didn't do that in the other room, I mean, you would have got attacked
real bad.
Oh.
Oh, so see, we weren't just being dumb-dumbs.
We did a good thing back there, guys, and I go for a high five.
Yeah, they would.
Can I accept that high five?
Yeah, those mummies would have torn you apart.
It wouldn't have been very good for you.
Hey, what's your name?
Nobody's asked me my name in a long time.
My name is Ilda.
Nice to meet you, Ilda.
We're going to try and find some books for you.
Thank you.
I'm feeling very guilty.
You made her cry.
I did make her cry a lot and it made me very uncomfortable.
Human emotion does that to you, doesn't it?
Yeah, it does.
You live alone in the woods for the most part.
It's hard.
Where?
So you guys have just been here.
Have you seen the pool yet?
The divination pool?
No.
You haven't been there before.
Does that have anything to do with the well?
Well, I mean, it's what the yonti have been using.
Diderius used it to see revelations into the future.
The well, yeah, well, kinda, kinda, yeah.
The well, you have to fill up the bucket and pour it into the trough, if I remember
correctly, and then pull the lever and then it goes into another room that fills up the
divination pool.
Now would only a few buckets do this or are we talking like we need to have like
a lot more buckets?
Oh, a couple of buckets.
You'd probably be fine.
Ooh.
Where's that pool?
Well, it's in one of the rooms.
It's like right next door.
Like you come out into the...
There was a collapsed hallway that we couldn't get through.
Oh, that'd probably be where it is.
I mean, there is another way.
You gotta go deeper into the tunnels to get there, but I mean, you could get there
and see.
But so I just warn you that the pool, if you're not careful, it can drive you
insane.
Oh, good warning.
It gives you, if you don't ask it a specific question, it deals with like the physical
and metaphysical concerns.
And it's originally, let me tell you this, Dideria set it up so that, you know, you
only had to do like a small sacrifice, something of like, of like your own...
Like a finger.
Yeah.
Well, not even quite that bad.
You just had to offer something.
But since those YonT have been around, I would figure they're kind of gross in
what they do with sacrifices and stuff.
So yeah, if you look in there, I mean, you could probably figure out anything you
want to know, but you got to, you got to really want it.
You got to just have more heart than the other team.
That's all.
Yeah.
You got to give 110 percent.
Yeah.
It's going to be, it's going to be a dark room if you go in there, but you
know, it might help you.
Who knows?
All right.
Go find a book.
Thank you.
Run along now, children.
Thank you, Ilda.
Thank you.
Well, Ilda has been very helpful.
Only because she pointed out we didn't die somewhere we probably almost did.
So that's always good to know.
I like knowing when we nearly escaped death.
Yeah, me too.
Do we want to go through this door in this room or?
Well, we have to go deeper in to find the pool.
So yes.
I'm cool with it.
So sorry.
You're going into the door in this room?
Yeah.
You said there was a door in there?
You pass through and you say your goodbyes to Ilda and say you'll be back soon.
She seems very excited about that.
And you go to the door that is cracked slightly ajar and it opens into a dusty
cobweb 10-foot hallway that leads back into the room with the tapestries and the
double doors.
Oh.
Huh.
So back to the throne room probably, like unless we want to go back in that tapestry
room.
But there was another door in that throne room, right?
You guys enter back into the throne room and the humanoid male turns to look at you,
but then recognizes you and looks back at the wall there.
You enter to your left the smaller single door and you go down a set of stairs.
What order are we going in here?
I'm last.
It didn't work out well for you last time.
It didn't.
But that's because I roll shitty.
I'm pretty hurt.
So if you don't mind going first, that'd be great.
You, Flint, go down these stairs and you step into a room and immediately you see five
bearded devils seated at a long marble table.
They're muscular and dressed in gray and brown loincloths and armor on their shins
and forearms bearing insignias of the Cult of the Dragon, which is, of course you remember,
a flame with eyes burning above a dragon's claw.
Y'all remember that?
I totally remember that.
Oh yeah.
This is not the first time I've heard about that.
You step onto one of the lower stairs and they turn to acknowledge your entrance but
seem nonplussed and turn back towards another door on the south wall with a backwards
question mark and the word danger following it written in chalk on the door that has been
spiked shut.
Danger?
What you do.
So they don't care that we're there?
They look towards you but they don't make any movement towards you and they look back
towards the door with danger written on it.
Part of me wants to murder them anyway because they are dressed and they have the insignia
of the Cult of the Dragon.
Also I'll give you the rest of the room here.
You see two long tables of plain stone that are standing at the south end of this what
you might think of as a dining hall while the long marble table stands to the north.
There are three doors, one to the north, the east, and south.
The east is where you came from.
Remember that last time when we saw the door that had writing above it that said
safe?
The same kind of writing.
Can anyone jog my memory?
Was it safe?
Yes, that was the room with the well and the pump in it.
I'm inclined to believe that this is a dangerous door.
Also it seems like if they're actively watching the danger door it's like they're
waiting for something dangerous to come out of it so maybe not a great door for us
to go into.
And they don't care about us which seems like a bad sign.
Also what's a bearded devil?
Is that like a giant lizard man?
Bearded devils are kind of a purple, no not that, don't worry about that.
Oh my god that's terrifying.
Bearded devils have purple skin, they're very muscular, they have long claws that
come out of their hands and toes.
They have what appears to be kind of serpent-like barbs that come out of their
face.
And yeah they're wearing only brown and tan loincloths and armor on their forearms
and legs.
And each of them is carrying a glaive.
So bearded devils not handsome devils is what you're saying.
Okay are they intelligent creatures?
Yeah most devils are.
Yeah Amy.
Guys I'm so fucking stupid.
Because we all knew devils are smart right?
I don't know how I get through my day without someone telling me.
You know that there are different levels of devils.
Some are higher.
Different devil levels?
Different devil levels.
Some are higher intelligence and they kind of rule the hellscapes.
So they're just like people, they're smart people, they're dumb people.
They take direction real well.
Okay.
They take direction real well?
Oh so they're sitting and watching because they were told to.
Alright RP time go.
Oh unless you have an actual question that's fine.
I was going to say that we, because we're basically just in the doorway of this room
right?
Yeah you're kind of all like stacked on top of each other at the stairs like flint
Nulara thea.
Right.
Is there a door or is it just like a doorway at the bottom of the stairs?
Just an open, yeah an open doorway.
There's no door.
Okay well I'm going to like go part way back up the stairs and like gesture
my friends to follow me because I know those people don't care about us but it still seems
weird to be like hey should we kill them?
So we're part way up the stairs.
Guys what do we do here?
I mean whatever is in that door is definitely bad right?
Yeah it doesn't seem like it would be good.
But those are called to the dragon.
Guys should we kill them?
Should we try to talk to them and find out what up?
Like what should we do?
I feel like this is the first time that we've been on the right track since we've gotten
here.
Like I feel like these are the only yeah they're the only thing that has actually been connected
to the cult of the dragon since we got into this place.
I think maybe at the very least we talked to them at the very funnest we killed them.
I mean yeah.
We can try our favorite trick where we say we're going to save one to question and
then kill him.
I do like that.
It doesn't seem like they're moving so maybe we can try to talk to them first and then
if they pull a you know pull a move on us.
No wait they're not handsome devils.
So not sexy moves.
This sounds like it's going to plan as we're going to come up with.
Sure.
Okay let's do this.
Flint you go first.
Yeah all right.
I guess we just kind of you know we don't like run up to them or anything.
We don't show any sort of real aggression.
We just walk in and maybe just like say like what are you looking at guys?
They turn to look at you and one of them speaks up and says danger danger.
We we're watching danger.
What's dangerous?
And what are you expecting to see with danger?
Well we were you know told to sit here and wait by our master and if anything
comes through that door we kill it.
And who's your master?
Oh yeah.
For him.
Well I believe we're unfamiliar with him.
Is he is he a cool master?
Well I mean he's been gone for a little while while we wait here looking at danger.
But yeah I mean he's good.
How long have you been looking at danger?
It seems like forever.
And then another one speaks up.
At least we're not back at home down in hell.
He's like yeah yeah we could be worse.
Yeah but yeah we're just stay here and you know there's he told us that we should stay
here because there's danger over there and there's great treasure over there too.
But we have to stop the things that might come out of it if they come out.
Did he tell you what might come out?
No I can't tell you that.
I can't tell you that.
Why not?
Because I don't know.
Oh okay.
Did Vram go through that door?
I can't tell you that.
Because you don't know?
No I know where Vram went.
I can't tell you if he went through that door or that door or that door and he's
pointing around the room to each of the doors.
Did he emphasize one of the doors differently when he pointed to it?
Make a perception check.
That door?
Well hey guys I rolled in the double digits.
Whoa!
Yeah it was only a 10 so it was like barely double digits but damn it.
Plus your bonus.
It's my perception bonus.
Oh plus 8.
That's a fucking 18.
Yeah I had 24.
Perceiving the hell out of these musically half naked men.
You watch as he's saying that door and that door and that door and he points at
them equal amount of time.
There is no lingering on any one door or any inflection change in his voice.
I look at them.
I'm going to attempt to persuade them.
I don't have advantage of that or anything.
You can still make a check.
Yeah and I say to them, well I guess I'll roll first.
Oh that was a 19.
21.
I say wow you guys have been sitting here for a really long time.
Has it you know if you've been like lonely or hungry it seems like a really
tough job.
No we're good.
What do you do to pass the time?
We stare at danger.
And you don't eat?
No.
Hmm.
Are you being like handsomely rewarded for your good work here?
Yeah yeah we're good.
Don't worry about us.
I mean if yeah we're good.
Oh.
I pull out my bag of like jewels and gold.
I set them out on the table and I say we really would love to know where your master went.
And you see him kind of look at that and look to his buddies as well and they kind
of mumble under their breath to each other and they say and he turns back he says
how much in the sack?
Now what kind of offer was this?
Golden jewels.
I take out a hundred silver pieces and I put them in a stack in front of me and I say
your master's been gone a long time.
He looks at it and he's like yeah silver you gotta you gotta up your price there.
How about I up it for each bit of information you give me?
I can get more than that in a day.
Not if you don't leave.
Oh we'll leave.
After danger.
You know I heard something I heard there wasn't even any danger back there.
Okay what else you got?
I put five precious really sparkly stones next to the silver pieces.
Says okay what do you want to know?
And he scoops up all your money and precious stones and passes them down to his buddy.
Where was Faram going?
Oh he's going down somewhere else don't worry about it he'll be back.
Don't worry about it.
I want to punch this guy in the fucking face.
I literally we might kill these guys just so that Thea can get her shit back.
I'm getting really irritated with them I kind of want to kill them.
I look at them and I say where over there?
Okay okay look you've got a lot of questions lady.
Look we've been here we fought you know like crazy undead things.
We fought them we killed them we're good.
Beyond that door some of our buddies died.
We stay here we watch danger.
Boss goes the other way.
Which other way?
Says the other door.
Which one?
He points to the north door.
Okay you guys got that the north door?
Okay.
South door has danger scrolled on it so he's pointing behind himself.
Okay I don't know it's like vague pointing.
Apparently there are many doors in this room.
Well there's the one you came down door with danger and the door he just pointed to.
Once Varam went through that door where did he go?
Beyond the door.
To where?
What's on the other side of the door?
Oh no.
I turn towards Nularaaa and Flint and I say I don't think these guys are high up enough in the ranks for Varam to trust them with the information of the plan.
Nope nope we're not.
I'm trying really hard.
We are working for the cult.
We have orders from our boss, bigger boss than Varam, Lord Zariel, Archduchess of Avernus, who wants Tiamat out of the Nine Hells.
We were told to come here and do as Varam says.
Varam told us to sit and watch danger.
Varam goes that way.
Talk about your exposition dumps.
And all the other guys go yeah yeah yeah what he said.
You guys I don't think we have to kill them.
You going through danger door or you going through Varam door?
Where you go?
You go through danger door that's danger.
We will be going through Varam door.
Thank you very much.
What's your name so I can pass on that you guys were so helpful?
Gord.
Thanks Gord.
Gord?
Please tell me it's spelled like the small like ker-ker-bit.
G-O-U-R-D.
Yeah.
Nice.
Gord.
All right.
Decorative Gord season motherfucker.
Fuck yeah.
Tell me one of you is like a colorful corn.
What?
Never mind.
Thank you for your help.
Yeah it's Autumn.
He's a decorative Gord.
They go back to watching danger door.
So you guys want to kill these dudes?
I whisper very quietly and they don't hear.
Say hey we're still here.
I whisper.
Yeah I know.
I don't think we need to.
Fine.
This is some interesting information my friends that this Duchess wants Tiamat out of the nine hells.
That's how bad of a dragon he is.
She is.
They don't want him in hell anymore.
She's queen of the dragons.
Right.
Are we going through that door?
Are we going to just hang out here and have a long rest with these hombres?
Can we have a short rest with these hombres?
They don't appear to be making any move towards you so you can do whatever you please in this room.
I see it pulls out some snacks.
Hey hey it's me your Dungeon Master Russ More.
Not whispering today.
Not up as late during this part.
Thank you for joining us for episode 24 of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled Into the Tomb of Diderius Part 2.
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The next episode you'll be getting will be a special Halloween episode next week on October 31st.
As if things weren't scary enough, right?
And then we're going to be back into Diderius' tomb regularly scheduled November 8th.
We really can't wait for you to hear everything that's coming up.
It's going to be a ton of spooky fun.
Let's get back in there though.
See what Flint, Thea and Eulara are up to next.
Bye.
You guys set up shop at a table in there and, you know, make small talk with the devils if you want to.
I pull out some snacks, you know, we make a thing of it.
Yeah, sure.
You don't get any extra information out of them based on that.
But you get all your hit points and all your spell slots and all your hit dice back.
And then what are you going to do?
Are you going to head through that door?
Let's head through that motherfucking door.
The danger door, right?
Nope.
Just kidding.
Thought I could catch you.
You guys pack up your stuff and you head through the door, which the devils told you for Ram left through.
You open into a hallway that takes a sharp left.
You follow the hallway and it ends at another door about 30 feet down.
Flint, would you mind getting the door, buddy?
Oh, sure. Yeah, no problem.
You're so big and strong. I wish you were my guy.
That starts a budding relationship between Thea and Flint.
I feel real full of myself as I open up this door.
You open the door and it enters into a long gallery that holds a pool, a dry pool.
That, based on the descriptions you got from Ilda, could be assumed is the source of Diderius's power.
Around the room, you see broken arrows, blood stains, and a dead cultist strewn across the floor of the chamber.
I'm sorry, he is strewn? Like parts of him?
All of these things are strewn across.
There is a dead cultist and everything else is strewn.
And was it like broken arrows or DVD copies of the movie Broken Arrow?
Both would be pretty awesome, but it is broken arrows as shot.
Okay.
Do they look to be fairly uniform like they were potentially shot out from a wall?
Good question.
Investigation check. Seven, eight, nine. That's only a nine.
They don't appear to be shot from a wall.
Okay.
Is this just a generic cultist?
Yeah, he looks like you're...
We didn't just walk in, it's Varam.
God damn it.
I mean, mission accomplished, I guess, but...
It appears to be your run-of-the-mill regular cultist in just kind of the lower level cultist robes that you have seen in your dealings with them previously.
Now, remember Ilda said something about sacrifices?
Oh, yes. Very smart. Very smart. Could be that.
Here's the thing about the divination pool, my friends.
We're terrible at asking important questions, so even if this was full, what would we possibly ask it?
Just putting that out there.
How do we destroy the cult of the dragon?
Anyway, it's all...
I mean, that's a good question.
It is a good question.
But it's all, it just doesn't matter, right?
Yeah, it's a move point.
But we could have someone hustle back to the water room and fill that bad boy up.
We could.
Are we willing to make the sacrifice that it's going to need in order to actually make it work?
You mean as in splitting the party or an actual sacrifice?
Oh no, like an actual sacrifice.
Because we've been very reticent to do the other.
It's true.
Indeed.
I think it might be important for us to branch off and do things.
But if once we get this pool filled up, I mean, this guy looks like he lost his life.
What are we going to sacrifice?
Maybe we could convince one of the devils to come in the room with us?
Yes, help, help. We found Varam.
You're so big and strong, you can help us carry him.
And then just murder him, throw him in the pool.
Just as close to a river as we can get right now.
As close to a river as possible.
Is there any other doors or anything in this room?
Well, probably.
Russ has zoned out completely. He's like reading a novel.
I'm just letting you guys chat. It's good.
Doors in the room? Yes.
As you enter the room to your left, which is the south,
you see a large set of double doors that has been broken in by rubble.
Is that familiar to anyone?
To your right, which is the north, you see another large set of closed double doors.
No rubble.
Visible.
Who would like to go fill up the pool?
I mean, I'll go do it.
That's fine with me.
Can we just go peek down this other door before we?
That might be a good idea.
Just in case there's like undead things waiting and then as soon as Flynn leaves.
It might help us with our mental map of the area.
But yeah, I wouldn't mind.
Let's take a look.
Sorry if it gets us killed.
So sorry, you're investigating things in this room or you're going through the other doors?
The other doors.
We're going to take a look in a book, reading Rainbow.
Okay, so you guys step over the the strewn about decaying matter, I guess could be best described.
You step through these doors, slowly swinging open the double doors from the divination pool room.
And you enter a 20 foot high chamber lit by braziers.
A massive stone sarcophagus sits atop a stepped stone dais at the center.
The walls are decorated with life-size frescoes showing the lost gods of Netharil and Anoria.
You get the feeling as you enter this room that it would be disrespectful to disturb anything here.
That just kind of washes over you and everything in this room should remain as it is.
I think this is Daedarius' tomb.
Is there, is this a dead end? Just chamber? Are there doors?
You don't see any other doors in this room?
I back out of the room, respectfully.
Yes, yes, agreed.
Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.
I got my hit points back. I don't want to fight a god just because I got my hit points back.
It's not what hit points are about.
Okay, I'm just trying to think, like, where do we go from here?
Yeah, I mean, we could go fill up the water.
Kill a devil?
Kill a devil.
Go back out?
And then ask a question?
Yeah.
Get an answer, go mad, get eaten by a snake man.
Right, there's still snake men around.
I'm not seeing good choices.
I don't, yeah, none of these sound great.
Let's fill up the pool. Let's, like, let's choose a path.
Agreed. Like, I don't care so much about the Divination Pool, but Thea, that seems like something you would like to do.
Do you want us to do that?
Well, it is kind of on my bucket list. I mean, Divination is a really, it's kind of, it's a mystically uncharted type of territory.
Not everyone can do it. It's not part of the magic that most people have.
So, you know, yes, I'm curious. Will it get us killed? Maybe.
But it might be our best way of finding Varam.
Let's do it then.
Okay.
Okay, yeah, I'm going to make my way back to the well room there, Russ.
Okay. You head back through the path that you took to get here.
You pass through the dining hall and the Bearded Devils look kind of anxiously towards you, but then look back towards the danger as they see it's just you.
Back through the throne room and the stone golem looks to you and looks back, back up through the hallway where the, carefully watching the trap plate.
I'll give you that.
Yeah. And I do my little lantern pose as I get through that other room.
Sure, yeah. Back up the hallway and through the room where you fought the Tiled Chimera, where the tiles still lay broken on the floor.
You enter into the well chamber and there are three trolls standing, eating what looks to be a large, hooved creature in the well room.
Back in the divination pool, Thea and Nularaaaa are waiting to see if the water comes through anywhere into the pool.
You hear the sound of grinding stone and footsteps enter the tomb chamber.
As you look to the open door, you see three serpent creatures standing staring at you as they enter the divination pool.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
And I quote, but I promise to stop being pointedly tricksy if you guys stop metagaming the fact that Russ is going to make wherever we go the trap end quote.
I'm not being pointedly tricksy. This is I will take a picture of what happened, what you have to do in order to find all this stuff.
But not before you go through it. I didn't I didn't even make this part up.
This is all given to me by those sweet guys at Wizards of the Coast.
Oh, thanks, dude. Hashtag Watsy staff.
Humility proffered in the manner of mystical shelters.
Come again. I will read the rest of the sentence because I stopped before.
I don't get it. Rewind.
From the top, Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.